I’m INCAPABLE OF LOVE!

Yes indeed sir,

I proudly agree

I’M INCAPABLE OF LOVE!

Why you ask,

No it is not because of

My cold heart.

It’s just that

I’M INCAPABLE OF LOVE!

Nor is my 

Ignorance and arrogance the reason

For my loveless life;

For no one could love this savage monster,

Who’s just

INCAPABLE OF LOVE!

The constancy of change

Whilst I was accusing an acquaintance of mine for ditching me on Sunday, which rendered a non-fruitful evening of watching TV series, lamenting about the one’s that I couldn’t watch, watch videos of people bashing ‘Sasural Simar Ka’ and play with cats who think they’re my room mates; a thought about “Change” struck me.

Back in Mysore my Sundays were different. It started with getting up early, calling Samy and asking if she’s up and ready. Later cycle to the foot hills off ‘Chamundi Hills’ and park our cycles. Then began the 30 minutes ascend! Talking about utter non-sense and life changing matters simultaneously we’d reach the top. Sit down for a while, later go to the tender coconut gut and drink tender coconut. Later we’d descend in 15 minutes but suffer cramps, serves us right for dis-regarding physics! Later came breakfast at GTR. We’d order Masala Dosas and I’d later follow it with Uddin Wada (Medhu Wada). Head home and crash.

Get up in the evening and do something crazy, read a book, just cycle with no destination in mind, or go to Sam’s place and hog and gossip.

Since the time I moved to Mumbai I’ve never had these fun rendezvous with friends. And with the home sickness it invoked a craving for friends and a reason for dis-liking Mumbai.

Change is constant. 

We can’t stay put neither can we always delve into our past. My Sunday schedules too have under gone changes. From the dosa dipped in ghee days to the buzzing days to the current static ones. Life keeps on moving and we need to accept it!

We fret about change and we fret due to change!

We are in constant struggle with change whether we like it or not. So where is peace?

Does this mean we’ll have to find peace within war ?

Apology

​To Mr. X,

I know I come off as an arrogant, mean, sarcastic and narcissistic ass.

I know I put my interests above others, and grab opportunities.

I know I’m seriously weird and an absolute pain in the ass.

And I know it’s hard tolerating me (believe me I’ve got 18 years of experience in that department!) But you’ve done the same.

And below all the layers of insecurity and insanity there lies a teeny weeny bit of innocence, love and care (mathematically equal to 1/infinity-1). 

And with that little bit I sincerely and wholly ask your forgiveness. 

I now realise that it might be insulting and derogatory to a person who’s independent and determined, who’s dedicated and sincere and more than all who thought that I was worthy of friendship.

I know I’m asking a lot, but please do accept this letter of apology (You know how hard this must have been for the egoistic me)

And even if we are not friends any more, I don’t wanna be on the loathing list.

Regards and love 

An egoistic, worthless creature.